How creative are you?
This is from one of the best magazines of all time which most of you will never know – OMNI magazine. It was hip, funny and smart before they grew up into snarky. This was from May 1984. I used to go to the library to read it. I laughed out loud (for real) when I read some of the questions.
Can you relate to Chinese vegetables? Or does your mind have the pizzazz of raw potatoes?
Discover your creativity quotient with this easy-to-score test.
The basic, purpose of this quiz is to knock you off your literal-minded feet and help develop your verbal and mental agility. You can calculate your score at the end to determine your creativity quotient.
Your alarm clock is melting all over your bed. You
a. check your cell phone to find out what time it is. (0)
b. think about how fast your clock is running. (3)
c. ask it, “Why the long face?” (4)
d. don’t really worry since the bed is melting into the floor. (5)
Penguin dust is
a. something you buy at your neighborhood pet store. (1)
b. a phrase in a poem by Gregory Corso. (2)
c. fallout registered from an exploding penguin. (3)
d. a command to a penguin
, given after “Penguin, do the dishes” or “Penguin, cook-.” (5)
What is the square root of 69?
a. 8.30662386292. (0)
b. It’s obvious. (1)
c. Eight something. (3)
d. Totally disgusting to imagine. (5)
How do you know when you pass an elephant?
a. You see a big, gray thing in’ your rear-view mirror. (3)
b. You squash your wide receiver with a completion. (3)
c. You feel excruciating pain. (4)
d. You can’t close the toilet seat. (5)
The sequel to “Nude Descending a staircase” would be
a. “The Same Nude Three Steps Farther Down
,” (1)
b. “Nude Sliding Down Bannister.” (3)
c. “Nude Ascending Staircase.” (3)
d. “Nude Posing on The Landing.” (5)
There is a tiny rabbit climbing up your nose. What color is he?
a. There is no rabbit on my nose. (1)
b. There is no tiny rabbit— the lavender wombat ate him. (4)
c. Khaki. (1)
d. Which one of the rabbits are you talking about? (5)
What wiped out the dinosaurs?
a. The swamps dried up. (1)
b. The Ice Age. (1)
c. Furry little animals. (1)
d. Penguin dust. (5)
My favorite television show is
a. Fantasy Island. ( – 5.)
b. The A Team. (1)
c. Sesame. Street. (3)
d. The test pattern. (5)
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall why?
a. Obesity. (2)
b. Misunderstanding of the laws of physics. (3)
c. Death wish. (3)
d. Misdirected sex drive. (5)
How many angels can fit on the head of a pin?
a. Straight pin or safety pin? ( – 5)
b. Forty-four. (0)
c. Forty-six (1)
d. About as many as can fit in the finger hole of a bowling bail. (5)
Vocabulary test: scintilla
, cartoucfie, synaptic, and skoobedoo. Of the above, I knew, without looking them up, the meaning of
a. none of them. (2)
b. two of them. (3)
c. three of them. (4)
d. all five words. (5)
My favorite poet is
a. I don’t read poetry (1)
b. Dylan Thomas. (1)
c. Joyce Kilmer, (1)
d. Gregory Corso, author of Penguin Dust. (5)
EXPLANATIONS
Each number in parentheses indicates the creativity rating for that answer.
Ratings of zeros, ones, or twos are signs that you are pretty neutral in the creativity department, Threes, fours, and fives show you have some verbal agility and imagination. Any score of minus five indicates a very disturbed personality.
WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS
0 or less— Raw potatoes have more pizzazz than you. With some effort you can understand certain comic strips and cartoon drawings.
1 to 20 — You -have tried a crossword puzzle and once stepped inside an art museum. You are reasonably fluent in the English language.
21 to 59— You idolize Baudelaire and Rimbaud.. You enjoy Proust and wear black most of the time. dealing with average people is too painful for you.
60— You are dangerously insightful, practically unemployable, and probably psychotic. You can identify with Hamlet. You may also identify with vegetables, particularly Chinese.