What euphemism did you fill in at the end of the above headline? How about this one. “It was so cold this morning, after my dog went out for a whizz, I had to chop him off a tree trunk.” I guess you get the point, it has been cold here. Our poor local weathermen are finally recovering from their deficit of air time on the local news. There was a completely uneventful hurricane season but the earlier snow and now the hard freeze has made their SAG dues seem worthwhile.
When you cruse the neighborhood you get a peek of your neighbors taste in bed linens because they are spread out over the plants and bushes in their front yards. There is something voyeuristic about taking the dog for a walk, and I think of the people at the end of the block differently now that I have seen their Charlie’s Angles sheets.
Do you know what my favorite part of freezing weather in Texas is? I imagine all those usually virile Texas mosquitoes cowering behind sheds all across suburbia crying “heeeeeelp meeeeeeeee” as they turn to frozen bird granola. These are a few of my favorite things.
I second the glee over the dead frozen mosquitoes!
"…witches tit" That's what I always heard. It's as cold as a witches tit.
Blah blah blah. We had two weeks with only one day that went above freezing. And then two days after the thaw, to my delight I discovered that a pipe below the backyard sink had burst. It had been in stealth mode until the ice had melted and now could imitate the Niagara across the back yard into the neighbor's drive.